There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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