Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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