3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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