I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
