Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
