THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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