Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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