return my video game
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
