Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
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I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
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Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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