i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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