Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize