Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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