I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize