I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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