I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
a search helicopter?!
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
