I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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