i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
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