I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
you had me at cake vodka
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
