This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
