i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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