you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
