I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize