I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
