Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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