i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
So squirting runs in the family.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
