Sponge bath it is.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
