Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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