genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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