i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My dick has a subreddit
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize