alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He has the fingertips of a God
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
