He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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