I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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