I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
