I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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