I want to walk on stilts...naked
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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