Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
