i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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