I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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