I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
