Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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