Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
