he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
