she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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