i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You smell like a Billy Joel song
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
