I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT