We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
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found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
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Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..