Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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