he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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