I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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