coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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