Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
