FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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