How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
