hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
