Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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