in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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