i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
