I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
thus making me awesome and them whores
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
