all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
