Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I intend to get homeless drunk
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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