dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
