why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
